I am a black woman, in my mid 20s; I have lived most of my
adult life in England. I just find it a bit strange that when a white man finds
me attractive and I also find him to be attractive, he will not approach me or
even at least say hi. With Asian men or black men I have had similar experiences, but also had the
flip side of the situation, where they have approached me. Whereas with white men I can
only count on one hand the amount of white men that have come up to me, given
the majority of men in England are white.
Is this not strange?
Let me give an example. I saw this guy at my university.
When we first fisted our eyes on each other you would tell and feel the
chemistry. It was amazing. He is very attractive, dark hair, nice eyes, nice
height (am short), well dress, nice physic. You could also tell that he found
me attractive, when we made eye contact it was intense, we were in a lift with
a lot of people but it just felt like it was me and him. When I looked away,
then looked back he was looking at me. Based on this strong connection I
assumed he would say something, but it never happened. I have traditional
values, so I am not a kind of person who would pursue a man; I like a man to
lead. So in that moment I took actions into my hands and said something to see
whether he would take the conversation further. I was going for a lecture and
genuinely wanted to know what time it was, so I asked him. He replied and we
both went our separate ways. After that, I then thought maybe he was not
attracted to me or I did something that turned him off. Told myself, his loss
and forgot about it as you usually do. But then I saw him other day, we
exchanged glances, yet again you could feel the physical chemistry. But again
he didn’t say anything. Every time we saw each other it was evident there was an
attraction. But he did not make an attempt to take it further than the
attraction that was there. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think physical attraction
is enough for any form of a romantic relationship but it is a door to get to
know somebody further. How would you know if you have things in common with
somebody if you don’t speak to them? To me it is just a bit strange, he seemed
to be so attracted to me, yet even though he had so many opportunities to
approach me, he never did. Let me take another example, same scenario, but in
this case the guy was black. One day this guy came up to me and said hi, even
though we did not take the conversation further at least he acted upon his
feelings. For whatever reason he never approached me, to me it seems as if
British white men are reluctant to approach black women. I have had countless
similar experiences with British white men. Is this just me or does this happen to other
black women? And if so why are white British men reluctant to approach black
women?
