Is it right for a man to cheat on you if....

I was having a conversation with a friend about sexuality and the role it plays in a relationship. 

Which one is strong and influential, intimacy or love?

People would usually say love is stronger. What about a relationship where people love each other, care about each other, but there is no sex, sexual attraction and chemistry would that relationships last?  Some would argue that if you love each other, you will do what it takes to please. What if you don't find your partner attractive because they have gained weight?  Or you never had sex before getting married and then you find that his penis is too small or the sex only last two minutes and you have never organism, but you love each other would that relationship still be fulfilling? 

What about a relationship that is founded on sex? Would that last longer than the situation above? What if all you do is hook-up and have sex is that a better situation? I personally think this scenario is better than being in a relationship where there is no intimacy. However, given, that there is sexual chemistry (where you know each other’s body inside and out, you bodies are in sync), have a similar sex drive and you both extremely attracted to one another. This relationship as more chance of developing into a relationship than the other circumstance turning into a fulfilling relationship. 

I think a lot of people underestimate the importance of sex. What lead me to do this post is that I know a lot of people that are in relationships, long term relationships, yet the women doesn't even own any lingerie, or feel the need to own any, and the man always has to initiate the sex. Is it then justified for a man to then cheat on the women if he is hungry for a sexual connection? 

African Civilisation is World civilisation.

My black men and black women know yourself, study yourself and know your worth.

 “To manipulate history is to manipulate consciousness; to manipulate consciousness is manipulate possibilities; and to manipulate possibilities is to manipulate power.”

-Amos Wilson

Know yourself. 

A clear view of history is able to help us create the future. This means having a clear knowledge of the actual historical events. I will be posting daily what Africans have contributed to the world.  It is evident that there is certainly a lack of knowledge about the true historical contributions made by Africans.

To embark on this journey I must first dispel the biggest myth. The myth that the West brought civilisation to the world.  Africa brought civilisation to the west, the west did not have civilisation prior to Africans bring the concept to them.

However, investigation around the world and factual evidence, shows that the West have not been objective enough to teach history without crude falsification.

The Africans brought enormous learning to Spain that over centuries would percolate through the rest of Europe. Generations of Spanish rulers have tried to expunge this era from the historical record.

Black Africans advances in mathematics, astronomy, art, and agriculture. They brought this knowledge and helped propel Europe out of the Dark Ages and into the Renaissance. The sources below are very useful if you want to do research in regards to the contribution of Africa in ending the European’s Dark Ages.

Golden Age Of The Moor, Edited by Ivan Van Sertima
Natures Knows No Color-Line, by J. A. Rogers

White people and the delusion of white superiority....

We live in a white supremacy society, a society that has to protect the minority status of white people. As a result, the information and ideas I am discussing would never be discussed on a large scale and some of this information is not even presented rather something you have to look for.

Throughout history white people have had an obsession for oppressing black people and an obsession for falsification of history as mankind. This treatment remains consistent and prevalent, not only physical but also physiological (recent example of police brutality, presentation of Africa more recently Ebola). In addition, Whites continue to perpetuate not only that they are progenitors of civilization but also the progenitors of humanity.

The fundamental question remains why do they contrast black people as inferior to them?

More specifically the falsification of facts and history remains prevalent, forming ones perception of self. The White race and scholars have committed the biggest cover up of true history, complimenting the delusional sense of their achievements. The deep and pervading sense of inadequacy and inferiority of the white race ensures the continuing misguided-ness and miss-perceptiveness of the prominence of HUE- MANS (Color) physically and the accomplishments. #So let me teach you some of the things your teacher won’t tell you:

Civilisation started in africa

Western (white) civilization is founded on a Black African civilization

The first civilised Europeans were the Greeks, who were chiefly civilized by the Africans of the Nile Valley

White people do not have a culture and civilisation; they have stolen everything from hue-mans and labelled it western civilisation

That Ancient Egypt was a Black African Civilization

Whites have stolen and falsified history; blew off the Africoid nose of the Sphinx!-- and destroyed much ancient Africoid art etc

That the willful and systematic destruction of Africoid art has also occurred in the Americas, Asia and India by whites

So-called Greek philosophy is stolen Egyptian philosophy

That Africans gave us Math, Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry!-including the Arabic Numbers

That Africans originated the world's first known universities. The blacks the moors taught white people all that

That the words Chemistry/Alchemy are from the word Kam or Khem, the name which the ancient Egyptians called themselves which means BLACK

The Moors also introduced the first shooting mechanisms or rifles known as firesticks. Which revolutionized EUROPEAN MILITARY science

The Founding Fathers sought to recreate in America the same energies which guided the Africans of the Nile Valley by using African science, architecture and symbols

The brain and body can't function without Black Melanin

All races were born from the Black race

Black rulership was widespread in Europe during the "Dark" and Middle Ages

Civilisation started in africa

Western (white) civilization is founded on a Black African civilization

The first civilised Europeans were the Greeks, who were chiefly civilized by the Africans of the Nile Valley

White people are recessives

White people do not have a culture and civilisation; they have stolen everything from hue-mans and labelled it western civilisation

That Ancient Egypt was a Black African Civilization

Whites have stolen and falsified history; blew off the Africoid nose of the Sphinx!-- and destroyed much ancient Africoid art etc

That the willful and systematic destruction of Africoid art has also occurred in the Americas, Asia and India by whites

So-called Greek philosophy is stolen Egyptian philosophy

That Africans gave us Math, Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry!-including the Arabic Numbers

That Africans originated the world's first known universities. The blacks the moors taught white people all that

That the words Chemistry/Alchemy are from the word Kam or Khem, the name which the ancient Egyptians called themselves which means BLACK

The Moors also introduced the first shooting mechanisms or rifles known as firesticks. Which revolutionized EUROPEAN MILITARY science

The Founding Fathers sought to recreate in America the same energies which guided the Africans of the Nile Valley by using African science, architecture and symbols

The brain and body can't function without Black Melanin

All races were born from the Black race

Black rulership was widespread in Europe during the "Dark" and Middle Ages

Whites are a genetic mutant albino population from the original Black (hue-man) beings

The Legendary super-civilization of "Mu" (Lemuria) was Black

Whites people can only give birth to white. With black comes all different races

Europe's royal families descended from Black

Black Melanin is necessary in order for humans to reproduce

Whites are the minority, 1 tenth of the world population, their birth rate is always going down, in spite of their racist attempts to kill and oppress hue-mans

Melanin threatens the ideology of white supremacy

All people of color have Melanin circulating in the blood due to spillage from the melanosomes

The most crucial brain structures are heavily melanised

Whites have the lowest melanin content

Melanie is key to creativity and many other brain activities

Whites are recessive

Whites are a genetic mutant albino population from the original Black (hue-man) beings

The Legendary super-civilization of "Mu" (Lemuria) was Black

Whites people can only give birth to white. With black comes all different races

Europe's royal families descended from Black

Black Melanin is necessary in order for humans to reproduce

Whites are the minority, 1 tenth of the world population, their birth rate is always going down, in spite of their racist attempts to kill and oppress hue-mans

Melanin threatens the ideology of white supremacy

All people of color have Melanin circulating in the blood due to spillage from the melanosomes

The most crucial brain structures are heavily melanised

Whites have the lowest melanin content

Melanie is key to creativity and many other brain activities

*The question is why does this information and among others remain hidden. 

White men will never accept you.

I am sad and feed up of seeing so many black women online showing extreme signs of self-hatred.

I am really feed up of this. Let’s just be real, white people, in reference to white MEN will not accept us. Period. That's why we see studies stating black women are ugly, unattractive, undesirable etc. Let’s not be under an illusion that this is a mistake. This is not a mistaken, there are people out there constructing this. Therefore, us to then up lift white men or non-white men, makes us look pathetic and not worth of respect. We are craving attention from white men, you can only look at the internet and see how many blogs pertaining to black women and white men, and the majority created by black women. There is nothing wrong with attraction, but look at where this “want” is coming from, is it coming from the need to be accepted. The more you try to get close to white people the more you start to hate them, but that's a waste of time and energy. What we need to start to do is to understand this system and why this system exists. You need to reclaim you position in this world black women, you are the first people on earth that give birth to every single race; everyone come from black people. Therefore, we should treat ourselves with the respect that warrants this.


This system has an objective aim. They have created this system for themselves, the question is do you want to spend your life time trying to be accepted by white people, knowing that this is a system created by white people for they own interest.


If it takes my life time preaching about this then it will, until this sinks into people’s minds and heads. There is no way the mother and the first people on earth can be reduced to this level. Your behaviour should reflect who we are.

Black Women: Dating White Men

This blog was motivated by a video that I watched on YouTube. It was about a discussion of a black woman who wanted to date white men, but scared that they would not be able to date her because she speaks 'slang'. They advised her to improve herself in order to date the men that she wanted, essentially a white man. This got me thinking, should this woman change herself to meet white men. For me the whole concept of changing yourself for a man does not sit right. Why should she change herself to meet a man let along a white man. Why shouldn't a man accept her for who she is and secondly why should she treat white men as a 'special' class.

I think this notion that black women should somehow change themselves to appeal to white men comes from this propaganda that we have been witnessing for the last few years. Specifically, 'black women are the least reached out to on online dating', 'black women are ugly' 'black women are the least likely to get married' ect. All this propaganda gives the illusion that black women are somehow inherently defective. They need to change themselves and accept anything they can get. Black women do not stoop this low to meet any man for a matter of fact. I rather be single than lower my standard and self-respect to meet a man. I will be honest right now, yes according to the media we are undesirable, but we need to understand who we are dealing with. Quite frankly, the media is racist, period. We are talking about people that have consistently excluded black women from the public eye; we are talking about people that only present negative images about black women. We live in a white supremacy society hence that is why we have research that reinforces what the media perpetuates. Therefore, when it comes to particular issues like this we need to look at them in a white supremacy context. Things do not just happen in the white supremacy society, every move is calculated. The white supremacy society works to protect its own self-interest. White people have always brutalized and discriminated against black people for their self-gain. Therefore, we need to be realistic; whites will not do anything on their expense. Let’s be honest Black women pose a threat to white women or any other race of women. Black women on their best are the biggest competition, this is the reason we rare see beautiful, confident and intelligent black women in the public eye, yet again this is not by mistake. If we saw these types of women, all races of men would strongly consider black women, no doubt about that. Nevertheless, what we see is negative images of black women in order for other people to form negative images about black women but also for black women to feel bad about themselves.

All that information gives a good analysis of what is currently going on but what we need to focus on is ourselves. This is not the time to feel bad and feel pitiful, but time to get BETTER, because ultimately the most important thing is your happiness. And it starts by not lowering your standard for any man, how can you truly love yourself if you think that you are not good enough for somebody else. We need to go back to really who we are; it is knowing that you deserve anything. We need to understand that this black skin that we have is a blessing, God blessed us with this skin (this was NEVER given to us as a mistake as white people would like us to think). Really get rid of any 'white supremacy conditioning', would suggest start by watching 'hidden colours', reading Francis Cress Welsing's work and Dr. Chancellor Williams. Second thing is we need to get in touch with our sexuality and sensuality. PLEASE do not be ashamed by this, this is a natural part of who we are as women. We as black women have a natural sense of femininity and rhythm. Be comfortable with your femininity and our sense of rhythm, this should be reflected in the way we walk (and other elements also), have you seen a black women with this confidence walking down the street, then you know what I mean.

When you show you sensuality and feel comfortable with your sexuality everyone will look, women will give you negative looks, surprisingly enough, even some black women. The negative response comes from the idea that black women should only be mammies and not show their sensuality in public. We need to understand no woman can pull off sexy than a black woman, hence you will get looks. Therefore, certain people in society will feel uncomfortable. Other people’s insecurities shouldn’t be our concern; it is about you feeling comfortable in your skin. The most important thing I need to emphasise is being uncomfortable in your skin and for us as black women it really starts by weeding out all the brainwashing that has happen. We need to become better, being unapologetically comfortable in our beauty.
 

Do not let people determine how you feel about you

Us as human beings have the ability to love ourselves. We are created by the almighty God, who is love. Most importantly he loves us, he will go to all measures just to show us how much he loves us. Inherently love is within us and therefore, we have the ability to love ourselves the way we are. But want prevents us from manifesting this love for ourselves is people. Do not let people suck energy out of you by; caring about what they think of you, trying to gain acceptance and letting other peoples actions affect you. The most important person is you and love starts from within.

Fulfill your potential.

Is anxiety stopping you from fulfilling your potential?

Anxiety can ruin you life if you let it, especially when it comes to forming romantic relationships. So my advice for today is step out of your comfort zone and say hi to that person you see on the train everyday and have been dying to talk to me. Ask your self this, do you want to live your life anxious and fearful.

Is it racist to say that I wouldn’t generally go for a black or white person?

One of the British Big Brother contestant on this year’s season stated she would go for dark skin but not black. She further stated that she wouldn’t generally go for black guys. When approach by a fellow contestant about her statement, who happens to be a black woman, she said "that’s my preference, you probably wouldn’t go for a white guy". When I heard this two things popped up in my head. One being, was what she said just a matter of preference or actually racist? Secondly, why did she assume that her black housemate wouldn't go out with a white guy? 

With the first question I think it is important to know that people do have preferences. To me race is not a qualification to how attractive someone is to me. If you are hot you are hot. But that said, I know people who prefer a particular race. I do not think there is anything wrong with preference; the issue only comes when we determine our preference based on the media’s portrayal of certain races. If the big brother contestant genuinely does not find black men attractive without any particular negative feelings towards black men as a whole then fair enough. Preference is fine as long as there are no negative racial attitudes towards that particular group.    

With the second element I am particularly interested in 'why' she said the other housemate, the black woman, would not go out with a white man. Do people generally assume that you would not go out with a particular race because you belong to a different race? This makes me wonder do people generally think I could not go out with a white man because I am black. Can this explain why white men do not approach me? Yesterday I was in a shop and noticed that a man was looking at me, but didn't say anything. This is generally the experience I have had with white men.

How colour blind is love?

While relationships between white and black people are rising, it is rare to see relationships consisting of a black woman and white man. I live in Manchester and my observation is that there are more black men and white women couples then there are white men and black women together. This is not only exclusive to Manchester it is the same across the board. Being the curious person I am I just wonder why this is the case. 

It’s not a problem that more black women and white men are not deciding to be in a relationship with each other. I particularly want to know what people’s views are about this trend.

Do you think it is to do with attraction? Is it simply black women and white men are generally not attracted to each other? Or does the issue go beyond attraction and rather more complex?

I know who somebody wants to date is subjective, that’s why I would like to hear everybody’s views. Please no politically correct answers. 

Would you date somebody that is celibate?

In our society sex is given a lot of weight. Sex is no longer limited to an expression of love to another person. It is something that people do when they feel like it. It is more about fulfilling your desire.  In relationships it is one of the important aspects of a relationship.  It can restore a relationship by drawing people together. However, it can also lead to sexual infidelity. Therefore, given the importance we place on sex, if you meet somebody that is not willing to have sex, would you still consider dating that person? A celibate person may decide to wait until they get married or when they believe it is the right time. Would you still be willing to date them? 

In our sexualised society, where we see sex as imperative in a relationship, it is impossible to even see people who would entertain that thought. Most sexually active people have the view that sex is something they wouldn’t wait for, especially men. Being truthfully honest a lot of men say that they would not date a celibate woman or even a woman who was a virgin. Not saying that women don’t have the same view but it is more prevalent among men. If you are sexually active, you enjoy having sex and sex is a key part of the relationships you form, it makes sense that you would not want to date somebody who is celibate. If you meet somebody and you like them, and the next thing they say is that ‘I AM CELIBATE’, you would run out of there like a bullet. To some extent that is understandable, we are all humans and have hormones, so sex is important;  but the question is to what extent should overshadow mental sex?

Me personally I like the whole courtship idea. Get to know somebody. Simulate each other mentally and spiritually. Have intelligent conversations, bit of banter, flirting and bring out different sides of our personality.  In my view a relationship can be enjoyed without sex. Getting to somebody before sex is more important. Sex is good but it is even better when you wait.

The good thing about getting to know somebody first is that when you finally get there it will be far more intense. Sex in that case will be more meaningful. The pleasure of getting to know each other is like a starter to get your palate ready for the main course, so when that main course comes it will be even sweeter. But how longer would you be willing to wait? How long is too long? Marriage? 10 years?  5 years?  3 years?  Or maybe it depends on the person, whether you think the person is special enough for you to want for. I guess if the person is special enough you would be willing to wait even for marriage?   

Why are white men reluctant to approach black women?

I am a black woman, in my mid 20s; I have lived most of my adult life in England. I just find it a bit strange that when a white man finds me attractive and I also find him to be attractive, he will not approach me or even at least say hi. With Asian men or black men I have had similar experiences, but also had the flip side of the situation, where they have approached me. Whereas with white men I can only count on one hand the amount of white men that have come up to me, given the majority of men in England are white.  Is this not strange?

Let me give an example. I saw this guy at my university. When we first fisted our eyes on each other you would tell and feel the chemistry. It was amazing. He is very attractive, dark hair, nice eyes, nice height (am short), well dress, nice physic. You could also tell that he found me attractive, when we made eye contact it was intense, we were in a lift with a lot of people but it just felt like it was me and him. When I looked away, then looked back he was looking at me. Based on this strong connection I assumed he would say something, but it never happened. I have traditional values, so I am not a kind of person who would pursue a man; I like a man to lead. So in that moment I took actions into my hands and said something to see whether he would take the conversation further. I was going for a lecture and genuinely wanted to know what time it was, so I asked him. He replied and we both went our separate ways. After that, I then thought maybe he was not attracted to me or I did something that turned him off. Told myself, his loss and forgot about it as you usually do. But then I saw him other day, we exchanged glances, yet again you could feel the physical chemistry. But again he didn’t say anything. Every time we saw each other it was evident there was an attraction. But he did not make an attempt to take it further than the attraction that was there. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think physical attraction is enough for any form of a romantic relationship but it is a door to get to know somebody further. How would you know if you have things in common with somebody if you don’t speak to them? To me it is just a bit strange, he seemed to be so attracted to me, yet even though he had so many opportunities to approach me, he never did. Let me take another example, same scenario, but in this case the guy was black. One day this guy came up to me and said hi, even though we did not take the conversation further at least he acted upon his feelings. For whatever reason he never approached me, to me it seems as if British white men are reluctant to approach black women. I have had countless similar experiences with British white men.  Is this just me or does this happen to other black women? And if so why are white British men reluctant to approach black women?

*I would like to get a bit of insight into why this is the case, especially from British white men.