Is it right for a man to cheat on you if....

I was having a conversation with a friend about sexuality and the role it plays in a relationship. 

Which one is strong and influential, intimacy or love?

People would usually say love is stronger. What about a relationship where people love each other, care about each other, but there is no sex, sexual attraction and chemistry would that relationships last?  Some would argue that if you love each other, you will do what it takes to please. What if you don't find your partner attractive because they have gained weight?  Or you never had sex before getting married and then you find that his penis is too small or the sex only last two minutes and you have never organism, but you love each other would that relationship still be fulfilling? 

What about a relationship that is founded on sex? Would that last longer than the situation above? What if all you do is hook-up and have sex is that a better situation? I personally think this scenario is better than being in a relationship where there is no intimacy. However, given, that there is sexual chemistry (where you know each other’s body inside and out, you bodies are in sync), have a similar sex drive and you both extremely attracted to one another. This relationship as more chance of developing into a relationship than the other circumstance turning into a fulfilling relationship. 

I think a lot of people underestimate the importance of sex. What lead me to do this post is that I know a lot of people that are in relationships, long term relationships, yet the women doesn't even own any lingerie, or feel the need to own any, and the man always has to initiate the sex. Is it then justified for a man to then cheat on the women if he is hungry for a sexual connection? 

Would you date somebody that is celibate?

In our society sex is given a lot of weight. Sex is no longer limited to an expression of love to another person. It is something that people do when they feel like it. It is more about fulfilling your desire.  In relationships it is one of the important aspects of a relationship.  It can restore a relationship by drawing people together. However, it can also lead to sexual infidelity. Therefore, given the importance we place on sex, if you meet somebody that is not willing to have sex, would you still consider dating that person? A celibate person may decide to wait until they get married or when they believe it is the right time. Would you still be willing to date them? 

In our sexualised society, where we see sex as imperative in a relationship, it is impossible to even see people who would entertain that thought. Most sexually active people have the view that sex is something they wouldn’t wait for, especially men. Being truthfully honest a lot of men say that they would not date a celibate woman or even a woman who was a virgin. Not saying that women don’t have the same view but it is more prevalent among men. If you are sexually active, you enjoy having sex and sex is a key part of the relationships you form, it makes sense that you would not want to date somebody who is celibate. If you meet somebody and you like them, and the next thing they say is that ‘I AM CELIBATE’, you would run out of there like a bullet. To some extent that is understandable, we are all humans and have hormones, so sex is important;  but the question is to what extent should overshadow mental sex?

Me personally I like the whole courtship idea. Get to know somebody. Simulate each other mentally and spiritually. Have intelligent conversations, bit of banter, flirting and bring out different sides of our personality.  In my view a relationship can be enjoyed without sex. Getting to somebody before sex is more important. Sex is good but it is even better when you wait.

The good thing about getting to know somebody first is that when you finally get there it will be far more intense. Sex in that case will be more meaningful. The pleasure of getting to know each other is like a starter to get your palate ready for the main course, so when that main course comes it will be even sweeter. But how longer would you be willing to wait? How long is too long? Marriage? 10 years?  5 years?  3 years?  Or maybe it depends on the person, whether you think the person is special enough for you to want for. I guess if the person is special enough you would be willing to wait even for marriage?